—apawis Our financial priorities and values were so different, and ultimately we could not compromise between wanting to save and wanting to splurge. We also didn’t speak the same money love language — he liked spending on trading cards; I preferred spending on experiences. I wanted to feel confident and in agreement on our financial future, and I believed that was possible even with his variable and unpredictable income, but not when we couldn’t agree on how much money could go toward trading cards each month. I realized I wanted to be with someone who considered and helped plan for our financial future, vs. someone with the ‘we’ll deal with it when we get there’ mentality. Never thought I’d be single and starting over at 34 because I couldn’t get on the same page as my partner financially, but at least now I understand the importance of good communication and shared goals when it comes to finances." —Anonymous, 34 —Marie, 30 —DC, 23 And of course, he blew up on me saying how irresponsible I was for agreeing to go on a trip I couldn’t afford and that I was so irresponsible for not planning to pay for all of that since I knew about it in advance. Plus he was being ‘so generous’ because he found us somewhere to stay.Yeah… Needless to say the relationship did not last long after that. Still to this date, worst birthday ever." —Anonymous, 24 —Lizabelle, 33 Then, he had to cheek to demand that I give him half of the wedding deposit back; the wedding deposit that my parents paid and that we didn’t get refunded. Better off without him!" —DeeDee, 34 Then I got a new job making double what I had been. So I saved up for a new dishwasher. He SCREAMED at me for not agreeing on the color of dishwasher we should get. Finally I said, ‘Well, it’s my money.’ He lost it. I think he realized he couldn’t control me with money anymore at that moment. Long story short: He cheated right after and got the girl pregnant. When he got home, he kicked me out and moved her in. Somehow, he was still just shocked when I filed for divorce. The audacity." —bcs1294 —regularcelery When we finally broke up (mutually), he claimed one of the reasons he would be happy to break up was because he was happy to not support my ‘financial irresponsibility,’ all because I spent $50 a month on a hobby of mine. He made me go through my bank statement and explain every purchase, the whole time laughing at how ‘irresponsible’ I was. When I pointed out we were in a room with his two PS4s, three PS3s, Xbox that he hadn’t touched, PS5, two identical guitars that he bought on a whim, and multiple copies of the same games, he got upset for trying to drag his choices. It was definitely the best thing for both of us to call it quits." —ej_orenji It took a whole second year to get them off the lease and out. They applied to two total jobs in the whole four years, and their only income came from a failed GoFundMe for a new laptop. They spent more on coffee, Patreon, and Kickstarter than on the cost of living. Once they even conned me into taking them on a vacation, got me to pay for a hotel and food in a tourist spot for a week out of savings, before telling me someone had given them money to help. I should note there were other abusive behaviors, but none of them really registered until I saw them impact other people." —Otto, 23
