Angelo: This looks like a purple piece of Spam. MEH. Arville: Crispy. Is it good as an ube snack? Probably not. NAH. Dominic: It’s good, but it’s not a strong ube flavour. NAH. Total points: -2 Arville: I’m not getting an ube flavour for this one. NAH. Dominic: It tastes more like milk. MEH. Angelo: I feel like this one is too compressed. MEH. Erica: MEH. Total points: -1 Angelo: It’s very disappointing ube-wise. Tastewise, it’s a NAH. Dominic: She looks like a kidney. It’s really earthy, it tastes like an actual ube root. It’s OK. Erica: I’d give this one a NAH. Arville: OK. Total points: 0 Arville: There’s no coconut in the middle? MEH. Dominic: It’s giving false advertisement, but it tastes good. MEH. Angelo: This is one of those things that does the job. OK. Erica: I’d give it a MEH. Total points: 1
Angelo: Goldilocks is a restaurant in the Philippines that sells all sorts of Filipino foods. They’re famous for Filipino classic dishes and their amazing sweet treats. Erica: I’ve been there, it’s super cute. It’s really colourful and there’s all these desserts lined up. Arville: I find my mouth is just dry. It’s good though. Dominic: This is the experience you have with polvoron. It’s a dry, sandy sensation. I’ll just give it an OK. Arville: It’s like…he’s a 10, but it’s dry. So, it’s an OK. Angelo: I would rank this as a GOD. Erica: I’d probably rank it a MEH. Total points: 4
Arville: It’s like cheesecake. OK. Erica: Usually, it’s got a thicker pastry. I’d give it a GOD. Angelo: It’s got that ice cream taste to it. I’d also give this a GOD, it’s really good. Total points: 6 Angelo: I’ll give it a GOD. Arville: The smell is more like ube than the taste. OK. Dominic: I’ll give it an OK. Total points: 7 Dominic: This is more of a subtle ube flavour, but it is very nice. GOD. Angelo: When this cream melts in your mouth, that’s when you begin to taste the ube. GOD. Erica: It’s stunning, it’s beautiful. GOD. Total points: 8 Dominic: This is probably the most beautiful one. If I was to be friends with an ube food, it’d be her. SUPER GOD. Arville: Look at the symmetry on this. SUPER GOD. Erica: It’s really sweet. I would probably give it a MEH. Angelo: We’ve had, like, a million different ube snacks today. We’re full of ube! I would rank this a GOD. Total points: 8 Dominic. This is giving molecular gastronomy. It’s french toast covered with some crumb. There’s lemon curd underneath, which cuts through the sweetness, ube halaya, ube meringue that’s been toasted and icing sugar. GOD. Arville: It looks like $500 at your local cafe. OK. Don’t kill me. Erica: I’m in heaven. SUPER GOD. Angelo: SUPER GOD. Total points: 9 Angelo: This one is really good. If you have a friend who hasn’t tried any Filipino snacks, give them this. SUPER GOD. Arville: This is probably the one that’s got the most ube flavour. GOD. Dominic: This is good. It’ll be a GOD tier. Total points: 10 Arville: This cream is very buttery. The sponge then comes in and wipes the coat away, down the throat. SUPER GOD. Dominic: Damn, that was some MasterChef stuff. I just said it’s good. SUPER GOD. Erica: It’s beautiful. I’m gonna give it a GOD. Total points: 10
